Islam is a complete way of life in which a child is regarded not merely as a family member but as a sacred trust (amanah) entrusted by Allah to the parents. In the Quran, children are described as both an adornment of worldly life and a test for their parents. So the responsibility for a child’s physical, mental, intellectual and moral development is not only a matter of emotion but also a religious duty. Fulfilling it requires affection, love, mercy and wise teaching — and where needed, Islam also permits limited and just correction. In this way, Islam’s teaching on one hand teaches gentleness and on the other gives guidance for responsible guardianship.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) was the finest example towards children. He loved children, took them in his lap, ran an affectionate hand over their heads, spoke to them with a smile and treated them sincerely. It is narrated in the Hadith that he would greet children first when walking. When a companion expressed surprise at seeing him kiss his grandsons Hasan and Husain, he said: “One who has no mercy in his heart is shown no mercy.” It is also related that he prayed while carrying his granddaughter Umm Kulthum on his shoulder — proof of his tolerance and gentleness towards children. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Whoever does not show affection to our young and respect to our elders is not one of us.” (Tirmidhi: 1921) Children are by nature restless and curious. They will make mistakes, learn and gradually mature — that is the natural course of development. So the true teaching of Islam is patience, explanation and encouragement in response to every mistake, not harshness. Islamic thinkers hold that a child’s mistake should be seen as a chance to learn, not as something to punish, because a child growing up in an atmosphere of fear risks becoming insecure and mentally weak.
Islam does not, however, deny the need for discipline. Timely teaching and correction are essential to raise a child into a responsible person. On this, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Instruct your children to pray at seven years of age, and discipline them for not praying at ten.” (Abu Dawud: 495) The purpose of this Hadith is in no way to legitimise abuse; rather, it permits corrective steps if needed even after long teaching and encouragement.
Islamic scholars note that discipline too should proceed step by step: first advice in gentle words, then mild rebuke, then, if needed, a firm warning. If there is still no correction, discipline is permitted that is neither painful nor permanently harmful and whose sole purpose is correction. Striking the face or sensitive parts of the body, hitting in anger or humiliating publicly is completely forbidden in Islam. Jurists have even set specific conditions on the degree, place and purpose of physical punishment, so that it remains educational and not vengeful.
In the family or school environment, various corrective methods can be adopted as alternatives to physical punishment — for example, temporarily limiting playtime, having a child stand in class for a while, assigning extra practice, temporarily withholding a favourite activity, or holding an advisory talk in a calm setting. Modern child psychology also supports these methods as effective, because they keep the child’s self-respect intact while creating a chance for correction.
Most important, wronging a child is a grave sin, because it concerns the rights of people. Although Allah is forgiving regarding His own rights, when the rights of people are violated, it is hard to be freed without either giving the person their due or obtaining their forgiveness. So whether one is a guardian, teacher or anyone in a position of responsibility, acting towards a child out of anger, revenge or a desire to humiliate is not the teaching of Islam. Rather, at the root of every decision there must be a sincere desire for the child’s welfare and for guiding them on the right path.
In today’s society, ensuring children’s mental wellbeing, moral development and family bonds requires a return to the example of the Prophet (peace be upon him). Affection should be the basis of teaching, mercy the beauty of the relationship, and discipline a means of wisdom, restraint and correction — not a tool of punishment or revenge. This balance can raise a child into a confident, ethical and ideal person, and plays an important role in establishing peace in the family and society.
বাংলায় মূল প্রতিবেদন পড়ুন · Read the original Bengali report