Maintaining good relations, upholding one another’s rights, and coming forward to help others are considered important parts of faith. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “The believers, in their mutual love, mercy and compassion, are like a single body — when one part of it suffers, the whole body responds with fever and sleeplessness.” (Muslim, Hadith: 6480). As time passes, people are changing. Maintaining relationships is becoming harder by the day. In many cases, when a rift forms between two people, each considers themselves in the right from their own position.
Listening to each side, it seems as though both are making every possible concession to preserve the relationship. Yet in reality, the relationship still breaks down. Mutual respect, tolerance and God-consciousness disappear from between them. Islam offers some balanced solutions to this problem. People tend to magnify their own suffering while failing to recognise another’s pain — driven mainly by pride, a reluctance to admit one’s own mistakes, quickness to anger, and undervaluing others’ contributions. These human weaknesses prevent people from recognising what is right. Often, even when people understand what is just and right, these flaws stop them from speaking up for it. Yet the Quran’s instruction is to remain firm on justice even if it goes against oneself or one’s own relatives.
The Holy Quran states: “O believers, stand firm for justice, as witnesses for Allah, even if it is against yourselves, your parents, or your close relatives.” (Surah An-Nisa, verse 135).
Behaving well
People generally cannot forget injustice, insult or neglect done to them. As a result, when that suppressed resentment eventually erupts, it damages the relationship. The Quran’s solution to this problem is to meet bad conduct with good conduct.
In the Holy Quran, Allah Almighty says: “Good and evil cannot be equal. Repel evil with what is better, and the one between whom and you there was enmity will become like a close friend.” (Surah Fussilat, verse 34). This verse teaches us that the key to rebuilding a relationship is good conduct, not taking revenge with bad behaviour whenever the opportunity arises.
Avoiding suspicion and backbiting
Most relationships crack because of suspicion and backbiting. Satan plants various baseless thoughts in a person’s mind against their rival, creating suspicion that the rival is behind their ongoing troubles and problems. As a result, even without seeking revenge, a person tries to soothe their pain by speaking ill of their rival behind their back. Yet baseless thinking and unwarranted suspicion are forbidden.
In the Holy Quran, Allah Almighty says: “O believers, avoid most suspicion. Indeed, some suspicion is sin.” (Surah Al-Hujurat, verse 12).
Controlling anger
Many relationships break down because of excessive anger. Yet there is no heroism in anger — rather, true heroism lies in self-control. (Bukhari, Hadith: 6114)
Not cutting off communication
Most relationships end because of misunderstanding and cutting off communication with one another. Yet, in reality, if people looked closely, they would find that had they talked openly and tried to understand each other, their hostility would have turned into friendship. Neither wished the other harm — only distance kept them apart.
Islam does not support keeping relationships severed this way. If people reduce complaints and increase empathy, and take responsibility instead of assigning blame, it becomes far easier for a broken relationship to turn back into friendship.