Times have changed, and each generation has brought new values, behaviour and ways of life. So one of the things that most concerns parents after a child is born is how to raise that child well.
Parents and families use many approaches to bring up children, combining affection and discipline to guide them onto the right path. But although generations change, one old method of discipline is still common in society: physical punishment. Many believe a child will not behave without “a little smacking”.
But can a child really be corrected by beating? What guidance does Islam give? Is it permissible to hit a child, and if so, where are the limits?
Islam’s core teaching is to treat children with gentleness, affection and good conduct. In the Holy Quran, Allah says: “Had you been harsh and hard-hearted, they would have dispersed from around you.” (Surah Al Imran, verse 159). Although the verse is addressed to the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him), it clearly shows the importance of gentle conduct.
In bringing up children, too, the Quran stresses responsibility and moral education. Allah says: “O you who believe! Protect yourselves and your families from a fire whose fuel is people and stones.” (Surah At-Tahrim, verse 6). In other words, a parent’s duty is not merely to punish but to raise the child with sound education and morals.
The hadith cited on prayer
The hadith most often cited on disciplining children concerns prayer. Abdullah ibn Amr (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: “Command your children to pray at the age of seven, and discipline them for it at the age of ten, and separate their beds.” (Sunan Abu Dawud, hadith 495). The hadith is described as hasan-sahih.
This hadith cannot, however, be taken as general permission to beat a child at will. Its subject is specifically teaching and practising prayer, and Islam does not endorse excess, harm or abuse even in discipline.
Islamic limits on physical discipline
Islam does not permit excess or harm in disciplining a child. The hadith speaks of discipline after the age of 10, specifically to teach prayer, but that is in no way a licence for abuse or for hitting in anger. From an Islamic perspective, the matter is understood within several limits:
1. The context of age 10: children are to be taught and habituated to prayer from age seven, and the hadith speaks of discipline over prayer at age 10. The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: “Command your children to pray at the age of seven, and discipline them for it at the age of ten.” (Sunan Abu Dawud, hadith 495)
2. The aim must be correction: the purpose of discipline must be to correct and teach the child, not to vent the parent’s anger or frustration. Striking a child in anger contradicts the purpose of discipline, so a parent should first control themselves and try patiently to explain.
3. Never strike the face: Islam forbids striking a person’s face. The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: “When one of you fights his brother, let him avoid the face.” (Sahih Muslim, hadith 2612). So in disciplining a child, striking the face must be strictly avoided.
4. No harm may be done: a fundamental principle of Islam is that no one may be harmed, nor harm returned with harm. The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: “There should be neither harm nor reciprocating harm.” (Sunan Ibn Majah, hadith 2340). So no conduct in the name of discipline is permissible if it causes injury, wounds or serious physical or psychological harm to the child.
5. The Prophet’s example was gentleness: the conduct of the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) towards children was affectionate and gentle. Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) said: “The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) never struck a woman or a servant with his own hand.” (Sahih Muslim, hadith 2328). This shows that gentleness and good conduct should be given priority even when correcting.
6. Making things easy is Islam’s teaching: the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: “Make things easy, not difficult; give good news, do not drive people away.” (Sahih al-Bukhari, hadith 69). This principle matters in raising children too. Rather than creating an atmosphere of fear, terror and abuse in the name of discipline, guiding a child with love, explanation and patience is far more important.
Discipline does not mean beating
In Islam, the conduct of the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) is the model for raising children, and the hadith contain many examples of his affection, tenderness and gentleness towards them. Beating a child in anger or humiliating them in the name of correction is therefore not consistent with Islam’s overall teaching or the Prophet’s example.
A parent’s duty is to understand why a child has erred, to explain things well and, if necessary, to try to correct them through appropriate discipline. Making physical punishment, intimidation or humiliation a routine method of discipline is not what Islam intends.
So in raising children, the emphasis should be less on punishment and more on love, patience, good conduct and moral education. The view most consistent with Islam’s overall teaching is that a child should choose the right path not out of fear, but through love and understanding.
বাংলায় মূল প্রতিবেদন পড়ুন · Read the original Bengali report