Showing greater love to any one child among several is a kind of injustice toward the others. Likewise, being unfair in ordinary gifts or in dividing land and property — giving more or less out of greater attachment to one — is all oppression and injustice. It is therefore essential that, when one wishes to give anyone a gift (hiba), one establish the utmost fairness and, as far as possible, distribute equally among all.
In the holy Quran, Allah the Exalted says: “When death approaches one of you, and he leaves behind some good wealth, the making of a bequest with fairness for parents and near relatives is prescribed.” (Surah al-Baqarah: 180) On the interpretation of this verse, Ma‘ariful Quran notes that the ruling on such a bequest was abrogated by the verse on inheritance (Surah an-Nisa, verse 7: “For men there is a share in what parents and near relatives leave, and for women there is a share in what parents and near relatives leave — whether it be little or much; it is a fixed share”). Likewise, Tafsir al-Jassas and al-Qurtubi state that the inheritance verses abrogated making a bequest for heirs. Indeed, in his Farewell Hajj declaration, the Messenger (peace be upon him) said that Allah has fixed the due right of every rightful claimant, so it is no longer permissible for a bequest-maker to make a bequest to his heir. (Jami at-Tirmidhi)
It is narrated from the companion Nu‘man ibn Bashir (RA) that he said: My father gave me something from his wealth. My mother, Amrah bint Rawaha (RA), said she would not be satisfied until he made the Messenger (peace be upon him) a witness. So my father took me to the Prophet (peace be upon him). The Messenger (peace be upon him) asked him: “Have you done the same for all your other sons?” He said, “No.” The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “Fear Allah and be just among your children.” My father then returned and took back the gift he had given. (Muslim)
In another narration in Muslim, when he came to make the Prophet a witness, the Prophet (peace be upon him) asked: “Do you have other sons?” He said, “Yes.” The Prophet said: “Have you given to all of them as you have to this one (in equal measure)?” When the answer was “No,” the Prophet said: “Then do not make me a witness, for I do not bear witness to injustice.” The point to note is that, because the gift was not distributed equally, the Prophet not only refused to be a witness but described such conduct as oppression and injustice. Another narration adds a little more: the Prophet said, “Do you wish that they (all your sons) treat you well?” He said, “Yes.” The Messenger (peace be upon him) said, “Then do not do this” — that is, do not give to one (more, or within your means) and deprive another. (Muslim)
From the last narration we understand that it is the duty of every one of us, if we desire good treatment from our children, to maintain fairness among all of them. Otherwise the result may be the opposite of what is intended.
Today such conduct appears in our society as well: out of greater affection for one of their own children, or for some other motive, many lean toward that child, nurturing boundless love for that child and even their grandchildren. Such conduct is never desirable from anyone. As a result, the other children sometimes, out of anger and hurt, cut ties with their parents, or show neglect and indifference toward them. That, too, is in no way desirable. And taking revenge on parents for such conduct is never lawful either.
The writer is a student at Sripur Bhangnahati Rahmania Kamil (Postgraduate) Madrasa, Sripur, Gazipur.
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